Chapter 10- The Grind of Rumors

Lucas was dead. The managers got everyone in the conference room to tell them. "Doctors say it could have been exposure to the chemicals he uses in his job" they said officially. It's funny to watch Managers manage. It's like they are on a stage with a microphone, as though we hang on every word they say, analyze every syllable.

The mood in the room was somber. As the Managers gave their speeches Jeff was looking around nervously. It was like he expected anyone in the room to "turn" at any minute and he wanted to be ready. Tracy was across the table from me, tracing the wood grain of the surface with her finger. She glanced up once and gave me a half hearted smile, then looked back at the table surface. Even when she's sad I think she's pretty, and I had the overwhelming urge to comfort her, to make sure she never felt sad again. It was odd to feel this way, I've never really been very protective of anyone. The Managers speech droned on: "I know this must be a shock for many of you. We saw him every day and many of you would consider him a friend." I noticed one of the interns sitting in the corner. Tears were rolling down her cheeks. I didn't know her name but I recognized her as the one who did most of the filing. Was she affected by death overall, or did she know him! I wondered how close she could have been to elicit such an emotional response. After the speeches we filed back to our desks like depressed cattle. The filing girl dropped a stack of folders and I noticed Tracy helping her pick them up.

Jeff was the only one with any energy. He seemed practically vibrating with nervousness. "Did you see what he did to his face?" he twitched to Dwayne. Dwayne, clearly not in the mood for a little Jeff, shoved him so hard he flew across the aisle back into his own cube. "Hey!!" Jeff called out, but immediately shut up when he saw that no one was in the mood for his protest. He looked at me, brow furrowed. "We should all be careful." he said in a low tone, then put his headphones on and turned to his computer.

I looked over toward Tracy's desk but she wasn't there. I noticed the handcrafted bins sitting on the floor around the trash cans. My idea, his handiwork. I think I might miss Lucas.